In A Year

A lot can happen in a year. 

One year ago today I was blogging about a salad. 

One year ago today I was pregnant. 

One year ago today, I didn’t know my baby girl was sick. 

A lot can happen in a year.

In a year, Tray and I received the most exciting news of our lives,

And then the most heartbreaking.

In a year we placed our hands on my growing bump to give our girl strength and love.

In a year we held her little body with our hands when the battle became too much for her.

In a year we held tightly to each other’s hands as we said goodbye to our sweet Maude Marie.

In a year, I lost touch with myself.

I had moments of strength and moments of weakness.

Moments of clarity and moments of anger and confusion.

In a year, we felt the tests and trials of grief.

We sank to dark places.

And we rose out of them.  

In a year I learned to be gentle with myself.

In a year I learned to give myself time.

A year ago I was full of hope. 

And now, I am hopeful again.

I am going back to the beginning to figure out where to go from here.

I am allowing myself to get back to my creative work as well as reflect on my past work.

I am allowing myself to come back to this blog today and am redefining what it is.

This blog is a place for growth.

A place for me. 

A place for me to document my strengths.

A place for me to show my loved ones what I have been up to.

I don't know what I will write about. 

What this blog will become.

How often I will write. 

But I do know that it will encourage me to continue to learn,

Continue to push myself,

And continue to be myself.