Tuesday, September 15, 2015

In A Year



A lot can happen in a year. 
One year ago today I was blogging about a salad. 
One year ago today I was pregnant. 
One year ago today, I didn’t know my baby girl was sick. 
A lot can happen in a year.
In a year, Tray and I received the most exciting news of our lives,
And then the most heartbreaking.
In a year we placed our hands on my growing bump to give our girl strength and love.
In a year we held her little body with our hands when the battle became too much for her.
In a year we held tightly to each other’s hands as we said goodbye to our sweet Maude Marie.
In a year, I lost touch with myself.
I had moments of strength and moments of weakness.
Moments of clarity and moments of anger and confusion.
In a year, we felt the tests and trials of grief.
We sank to dark places.
And we rose out of them.  
In a year I learned to be gentle with myself.
In a year I learned to give myself time.
A year ago I was full of hope. 
And now, I am hopeful again.
I am going back to the beginning to figure out where to go from here.
I am allowing myself to get back to my creative work as well as reflect on my past work.
I am allowing myself to come back to this blog today and am redefining what it is.
This blog is a place for growth.
A place for me. 
A place for me to document my strengths.
A place for me to show my loved ones what I have been up to.
I don't know what I will write about. 
What this blog will become.
How often I will write. 
But I do know that it will encourage me to continue to learn,
Continue to push myself,
And continue to be myself.  

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